tried to watch the lord of the rings trilogy in 2 days but to no avail. then there was this part in fellowship of the rings where frodo whined on and on that he wished he wasn't the ring bearer. alright for those of you who don't watch lord of the rings, the ring is something evil and basically whoever has the ring will be sought after by all sorts of people, especially the evil ones. so the protagonist of the story was alone and he pondered in retrospect what a sagely old man told him, which i remembered vaguely as, people of our times do not choose whether or not to face problems but how to deal with problems. not too long ago, maybe just 3 hours before the show i was reading a book about determinism. determinism basically says that everything happens as a result of cause and effect, which means all this theories about the human consciousness and ability to choose thus making us superior than animals, beasts and creatures(abc what a coincidence) are gibberish. for example, this quote from some comprehension passage,"drink when you are not thirsty, for it is such actions that tell us apart from animals." is bull. because of a cause it triggers us to take an action to it, thus different kind of causes will bring out corresponding effects, which when compared to the animal instinct, is very similar. so basically we are ultimately the same as the animals. i shall decide the conclusion after dinner and edit this post another day.

i discover that i am slowly shifting to the evil alignment. when i was young any evilish thoughts would be a no-no straight away and tossed to the back of my brain, nowadays i find myself contemplating about malicious and evil thoughts, i'm slowly converting to those cliche i-would-trade-my-soul-for-power brainless creeps. but when i don't think of anything at all, my brain is retarding, and i hate to waste my time letting my brain cells just die. when i start thinking of something, i plot something sinister. today i was inspired by a game that if i continued to dwindle down this crooked path, blocked-out thoughts sinced young that turned suggestive today may eventually become assertive. i may become the next osama or saddam given the resources to develop, or some may prefer the adjective rot. haha and i know damn well the bad guys never win theoritically but somehow i want to beat the odds, i want to show that i'm different, i'm a cut above the average. this is the ingredient of the oppopsite of sucess.
i'm just writing this off the top of my head, i dun even know the moral of the story or the conclusion, i fell asleep 4 times today(tuesday) already and am trying to get myself tired to go to sleep. shucks what a good lifecyle. if i had known my life would be so shitty after A's, i might have wanted to keep studying. but you know they say a break from what you do is always good, like my previous entry on equilibrium, yada yada nuff said already.

"off to never never land.."
[enter sandman - metallica]

hah i got a day off so i'm blogging now, stop my going-out run today and probably tommorow so that i can rest well for my big event! haha no philosophies today because i woke up the third time today already so i'm feeling drowsy and sleepy. this thursday i will be doing a gig at pine grove for little kiddies wahaha, it's going to be my first live performance, unless i die before that which would really really suck. anyways kinda sad the performance is limited to the youths of pine grove, if not i could get your ears bleeding too. which reminds me the name of our band, it's audio asphyxia. i came up with the name! lalala, other nominess were tupperware warriors, wrong choice, low batt, foul play and sonic disturbance. so what do you people think of the names? which one do you think sounds best, leave a line behind and tell me.

anyway, anyone of you all looking for live bands can tell me, we perform for free!!!

watched i am sam recently. kind of sad to see the show even though the ending was all wonderful. time and time again sam gets bullied by society itself, feeling that this world is f___ed up. then i remember from our general paper comprehension, it said something about animal rights activists sympathise with the animals because sub-conciously they are putting themselves in the shoes of the animals literally. meaning they imagine themselves being the animal and having all sorts of torment done unto them. the writer also implied that such a reason for being a pro-animal rights supporter is shallow. upon reading the passage i felt as if the author was describing me.

But may i ask what is so shallow about that?

When i was young the "do-unto-others-what-you-want-others-do-unto-you" value was well instilled already, so many a times my style of judgement is to put myself in the shoes of others. there are always exceptions when i'm pissed and others, still trying to perfect this virtue. but what i feel is that humans are ultimately similar basically speaking, so if i imagine myself as you i would know what you want and i would work out a solution if not a compromise. yeah so why is it not a substantial arguement for sympathy towards animals?

ultimately i had to agree with that writer. the killing of certain animals should not be prohibited, it's just the cycle of nature, we kill animals just as other animals kill others. so what if we are morally equipped, like every god-damned shit face felon ever used theirs. if we can't even fixed problems involving ourselves, then don't even think about flying when you can't even crawl.

i have been going out every single day since the end of exams, finally took a break yesterday. all this has taken a toll on me, soon again i will start going out everyday so i won't be blogging. by the way i'm enlisting in jan 28th, to all those people i borrowed stuff from come get it soon from me alright. for anybody else you can come visit me before i get encased in a coffin, haha i know you tekong losers would like that, better start doing good and say my prayers from now on.

i was wondering if the beaches ever rented out their spaces then i could just lay there and read some books then stare at the waves once in a while and then fall asleep without getting robbed. then again i'm broke and owe this ass 870 bucks. i want to find a place that's full of mother nature all around yet there is nobody around. the place must have a good view outwards to the horizon. kinda like my earlier entry about equilibrium, right now i've been out too much, maybe i need to be alone and quiet for some time. anyone know where my paradise might be?

talk to me, leave a message behind, i'll be checking them though.

if you've been visiting this site and sad to see that it is not updated i'm sorry. i just finished the A levels recently and am in the process of enjoying myself. inconveniences regretted.