ok jeanette aw looks less like a midget here 

never seen chua so happy before man 

went out with chua and ed yesternight. our intend was to watch a movie but we ended up doing nothing, i arrived an hour late and ed was busy with his band for 3 hours. walked down to selegie to eat tao hui, it was not bad. sat there and discussed about going mambo and club etiquette, then we saw a couple of cockroaches and two rats down the drain and decided to go somewhere else. we stopped at cafe cartel @ plaza sing. ordered wedges and talk about more clubbing nonsense. kinda waste of time, wanted to go chua's house to get some songs but it was too late when we left cartel. hanged around a bit at plaza singapura. oh ya before the tao hui ed met his armskote man who happens to know jeanette aw, our usually shy chua once again did not dare to ask the fella for her number. but to hanging around at plaza sing, got chua to take some photos with jeanette aw's posters hurhur. also went to check out salomon, the things there are fexpensive man, even with the 45% discount i have i don't think i am getting anything there, except maybe the shoes.

recieved a sms from cheeyu today, saying that book in time changed to 7pm how sian is that, so i quickly rushed out and went out to buy 2 cds, a mini marshall amp, 2 sets of strings(acoustic and electric) and an adaptor for the mini amp. spent 160 bucks, and i realized that i only managed to scrimp 100 bucks this month shit. looks like it's no clubbing for me, except for mambo haha. why did i buy so much stuff, because basically i would be stuck in camp for another week, so i decided to bring my electric guitar in muahaha. bought some new cds to have some new songs to listen to and the strings are for some one else.

so till then see you all guys, hopefully at mambo on the 6th next month!

sat in the auditorium rotting away. had some reminiscence of JC days. so i started penning down every single phrase that pops up in my mind. put them together and some cheesy nonsense lyrics results. well at least i got started.

i wake everyday
to fight today
putting on
a moth feasted uniform

walk to school
it's so uncool
why am i
not some rich guy

i know you are smiling at me
i'm not blind, but can't you see
i feel for you too but my wallet's empty
if not i would make you my baby

time for class
wished she's my lass
wonder if you would mind
me being financially behind

why what when where who how
if i could link heart to mouth
right here right now
in my sea of emotion you'll drown

i know you are smiling at me
i'm not blind, but can't you see
i feel for you too but my wallet's empty
if not i would make you my baby

haven't really thought about the bridge and the end. but more or less it looks good to me
(haha slap me please).

me and joshua. mambo 22/06/05 

polished fretboard 

new strings 

hair... all gone! 

wooo mambo was super fun. went with bunch of commandos and we were fucking rowdy. think there was a point in time when everybody was just staring at us because we made so much noise. danced around with some girls, "slimed"a bit here and there, must have been my hair that chased so many girls away. i spent closed to 160 as i lay in bed after a long night(and morning) calculating before falling asleep. haha clubbing is really taxing my bank account. keep saying must quit but yesterday's mambo was special. even bobo went, poor cheah he promised he's friends that he would go chinablack. poor ks also cause he wasn't high enough and he was missing half the time. though bobo wasn't drunk too, he had like 4 girls surrounding him, no surprise though he is a real hunk. poor chua got what complex orderly officer duty, sigh not fated to club together dude. dj played quite a lot of RnB at zouk main when it was supposed to be mambo. tried dancing on the podium, this zabo kept pushing me off, wtf, i was almost high enough to punch somebody. anyway i think all the mambo moves are damn gay, must've been when i made fun of the moves on the podium then she buay song haha. i think when you are in a big rowdy group girls start coming around to dance with you. after a while me and xu got pretty sober then we went to drink some more and went phuture, after xu managed to sneak in we go to the dance floor squeeze around a bit for 30 minutes then the music stopped. so we quickly went back to zouk to dance while we are still high. 15 minutes later they cut the music at zouk. i was quite surprised how come zouk closes at 3:15, i always thought it was 4. so went to the bar counter relak jack for a while then suddenly dj start spinning the tracks again, but all shitty music. then i went to dance with 2 girls they were like quite sian so i went to buy them drinks, halfway drinking music cut. sian. talked with them until the bouncers asked us to leave. found out from them that they are one year younger, both were from ajc, one of them will be my senior in uni, and the other is flying off to london in september. come to think of it, it wasn't so coincidental that they stayed in the north-east area, after all they were from ajc. so i shared cab with them and sent them home. guess i was still high so i talked a lot and asked them lots of questions. the one flying off was more responsive. later on i talked to her more as the other girl alighted. when she got off, she offered to contribute a bit of the cab fare, then of course i said it was okay, then she said like damn paiseh how to return me, so i said nevermind. now before i make the same mistake again, and before you all tell me off again, i said why don't you pass me your number(if you are so paiseh, then i'll call you to get the money back if you really want, but i wouldn't take it ultimately). all throughout the journey before that i was contemplating if i should get their numbers, i'd settled on no. at that moment when she said she was paiseh i thought it was a good excuse for me to get her number.

drank maybe a glass of long island tea, one jug of vodka fruit punch, a sip of submarine, one serving of flaming lambourghini, two tequila shots, half a jug of vodka redbull and one quick fuck.

my hair is a total disaster, between choosing from ec house and a malay barber, both offered services for the same price, but one had a faster moving queue so i chose ec. i asked for a 3 by 2 what a mistake, i didn't realise their 3 was like 1 until she shaved the central part off. i was stunned, it was super duper short lor.

then the auntie asked, "is it short enough?"

spent two hours plus doing up my guitar, tightened the jack, cleaned the body, polished the fretboard with lemon oil, changed strings, coated strings. hope that the strings really don't rust so fast. or else later the strings snap again. think the weather was responsible for the snapping strings. think 3 or 4 guitars in the company snapped.

bastard people in the company never cease to do their bastardly things. but this time nobody was really affected. i shall not comment. i shall not write so much about army stuff.

my fused tube for my room(see the blackened part near the plughole?) :( no more ps2 at night. 

the lights in my room went out. probably why i'm blogging and not ps2-ing.

"slimed" some girl at zouk this friday. now i can't forget her. kinda feel like slapping myself for letting her go with just a handshake while her friend was already keying numbers into cheah's phone. headed back to camp straight from zouk, halfway in my subconscious sleep i woke up to sms cheah to help me get the her number from the girl he knew. all sorts of thoughts went through my head, what if she gave cheah a fake number, what if she didn't want to give me her number etc. her friend was quite protective you see. couldn't really concentrate, ok i couldn't concentrate AT ALL, for the whole day. write the [book in book out] book also write wrongly. just like in jc when i started noticing this netball vice-captain. totally fell head over heels, cannot even drink water properly. in the end i think cheah got a fake number, told me that he tried messaging the girl but she didn't reply.

why is it called sliming. to me it's only dancing close that's all, like you go dancing you should have a partner, which, socially, is pretty normal. real sliming is when the girl is really really drunk then she starts slobbering all over her partner, and the guy places his hands wherever he wants. i think by then why don't they both go somewhere to have sex, or if that guy is gentlemanly enough he should send her home.

friday was kinda different unlike any other days when i danced closely with other females, i somehow felt that she was different from the others, maybe there was some chemistry between us. she wasn't slutty, nor playing hard to get, maybe she's just like me out to let her hair loose and have a good time. she was pretty nice too, though i was dancing sideline because some fella blocked me off, we continued dancing after shaking the other guys off.

in retrospect, i think she was waiting for me to ask for her number. i should have asked for her number, but my shy side got the better of me once again. you all are
probably going like, what the hell gang, you didn't ask for the number again? it's different from the rest, i think i really deserve a slap this time.

so now i'm emotionally stirred by her. like what i told chua, i'm such a sucker for girls, but previous lessons have taught me to think carefully before committing. also like i told chua, i don't think i will be looking for the love of my life anytime soon, want to lead the life of a single and enjoy as much as i can. until the day i get engaged or ready to settle down then i will stop.

somewhere in the back of my head. amidst all the "maybe i should have got her number", i was thinking what if she turned out to be a totally different person from my expectations. i would probably be traumatised and stop asking for other girl's numbers in the club. some consolation, yeah some consolation, more like solace.

haha but credits must be given to ipu and his friend, whom i couldn't quite catch the name. they helped me fend other guys away hah. ipu and co nearly want to crap this fella who kept cutting in with girls they themselves were dancing to.

though i really miss seeing her again, i will quit clubbing because of her. because i don't want to go clubbing just to see her. but if i see her next time maybe i would ask for her number? no harm having another friend. i'm also trying to curb so that i can have more money in the bank.

chua is such a shy fella. when we went bao's house he didn't sing much. then when we went home immediately send us a sample of his musical inspiration. weird, but it was quite good stuff.
cannot praise him, everytime say he got good stuff then he will stray off again. 9 months and 7 days to ORD. it'll be gone in a jiffy. i'll blink my eyes, i'll blink 50 times, hell i would blink as many time as it would take. i want my freedom back. argh.

oh ya the tag board is for tagging so anybody reading this please tag hor. i didn't go through so much trouble to change the template to place a tagboard that nobody bothers to leave a message. it's okay if you don't want to identify yourself, just tag. just tag and help me decorate my pathetic board ok?

proof that my guitar is not playable now 

if you are wondering.i left one string so that i can still tune the guitar after 

sian. my e(the higher one) string snapped. was playing around with the guitar a bit then it broke. was anticipating so long to go for mambo tonight then last minute cannot go. damn dulan, the 2ic of my company let us book out from 9am then asked us to book in at 11pm, when i was supposed to book out in the evening and book in on sunday. wassup with booking in tonight, there's practically nothing to do tommorow morning except for a lecture at 12 noon, so why can't we book in the next day? the most dulan thing is that this half-day book out is counted as A DAY OFF, 24 hrs off. wtf. i suggested if the off was so screwed up why not we take the off another day, but no, he said take it or leave it. damn fucked up. this company should just rot and fall apart for the sake of every human being in the world. damn paiseh ask all my friends to go mambo then i cannot go. all because of my lousy, stinking, hell-worthy, screwed up company.

these days i've been pretty pissed at the company, and i find that when i'm pissed i actually skip meals, so i'm kinda slimming down hah. some good news at least. heard that joel was not so slim, which was probably why i did not recognise him, one day he just looked in the mirror and said he could not take it anymore and he started running, ran and ran till he is super damn fast now and he is like a bag of bones. haha i need to put in some effort man.

haven't worked out for some time, really feel like swimming soon, running is such a drag. if i should exercise, it must at least be comfortable like swimming, if not interesting like some games. i've got no discipline at all.

a random thought, out of 4 guitar strings that's i've snapped 3 of them are e strings. and 3 times(not the same 3) it wasn't my guitar haha.

haha hello is so fun. upload pictures like nobody's business 

haa i'm messy even outside my room. 

band of bros : det 1-5 

me and nostril brandishing josh. 

this is what your bf looks like talking to you on the phone late at night. remind him to switch off the lights so others can sleep! 

L-R : CT, JJ, Lam, Pehpu John, Chu, CheeYu 

CT and cheeyu. anyway what the hell did i include CT in the picture? 

talked to sis about her life in US. obviously she went there for a vacation instead of internship, she's working so that she can maintain financial stability for 5 months over there. learnt that she was actually quite lost. this is like her big break all about finding herself back and all.

then she told me that one of the tourist asked how was it like living in such a protected country. what's with the whole educational journey laid out for you and all, all done so well that the people are spoilt and dependent, so much so that most people don't know what to do after the final phase - uni graduation. so this social stigma is affecting her right now, which i've already been thinking since like secondary school. it's the same with male poly graduates who are settling with just diplomas, after they ORD they have no idea what to do, so the government offers them to sign on for 1 year to consider and plan for the big step into society, many end up extending their contract.

all my life since secondary school onwards till now i have bothered myself with this question, then i took a look around. everyone is so carefree, so i thought it was one of those problems that somehow, somewhere, sometime would be solved by somebody, something or someone. you don't even ask about it because nobody knows what the hell you are talking about and otheres will say you think too much. so what happens when the shit hits the fan.

anyway i just signed 14 extra instead of the 3 to 9 that i speculated. my oc "tactfully" handled the issue, by reporting it to the co and recommending that i be charged to go detention barracks.
in the end he was disappointed because he was not being fair to the rest of the people in saf going in to DB for AWOL(yes he trialed my case as awol, of which i cannot argue if he wants to go by the book). after recommending me for being charged under military law, he tells me that he will try his best to get a lighter plead from co.

oh by the way the OC commands a company, while the CO commands many many companies. sorry for not laying out the hierachy before offering my story.

meanwhile all the following happens while i was on trial. when the whole company got to know of it, they went to the CO's office to plead for me, feeling the case was being ridiculously blown up, even the rsm suggested that a charge was not neccesary. the rsm is a senior uncommissioned officer, which means by rank he is lower than an officer, but by his appointment he has more command than my useless OC. i don't know what got to him but my OC used his RANK to refute rsm's proposal. the evil never triumphs, the CO decides to side against my OC!(haha i would like to see that loser OC's face at that moment). haha with the two major appointment in the battalion going against him, which means his attempt to charge me was unsuccessful.

so instead of telling me the whole truth, my OC decides to tell me that because of my good behaviour and conduct, he made it sound like he pleaded for me, and i did not get what i deserve. and so i was given 14 extras instead of going to DB. a 3 day stay in DB would mean no university entry and 6 days is equivalent to a civilian crimianl record. that two-faced intended to let me have a week in DB. wtf.

then he gives an emotional talk saying that he failed as a commander, BECAUSE HE DID NOT CHARGE ME. according to what guideline? then he takes out a book. Company Command : The Bottom Line. told us it's his bible, running the company the way the book suggested. you know he really resembled those loser thinking they can accomplish anything with an idiot's guide to anything. he said that it's ok for him to fail, as long as he accomplished bonding the company, saying the whole company went to the CO's office out of their own will to plead for us minors.(another fella besides me was charged for the same thing) oh please, the company is together to go against you, not because of your superior command and leadership that brings them together. i guess you bury your face in that lousy book all the time that you can even see the obvious. like if your wife was having an affair outside you couldn't tell from the signs.

all this time he was trash talking i stared him in the eye, boring into him like a fucking diamond drill bit. he couldn't even look me in the eye, because he knows he is not telling the truth, because he is a lying son of a bitch, and in the back of his mind he suspects that i already know the truth. his eyes shifting from time to time to my eyes, then glancing away as if he was scared of me. i was furious, but not over the top yet. i did not say anything, but i was telling him you worthless piece of shit you are going to hell, if ever one day i catch you doing something wrong, i'm going to bring you down. all the way.

to what extend will you go to keep your own rice bowl? putting your men in a world of shit? shirking off your conscience? to me my OC's motive behind all this was not to follow the lousy fucking book, neither does he have anything against me, he doesn't even know my name before this. it was to make sure that he doesn't lose his job. he had to go according to the book so that he wouldn't be held accountable for having double standards.

i bet you are thinking that the OC shouldn't be blamed, i would say so too. but why tell lies to build yourself up to be a benefactor after you failed trying to make a martyr out of me. non-subjectively viewing, the issue could have just been tactfully contained within the company, especially when even the CO and RSM, the highest appointment holders in the battallion said so. but no, he cannot have a blemish in his "illustrious" career path, he must attempt to charge me so that he is always doing the right things. even if he fails to charge me, it's okay for him, it wasn't his fault, all through his career he never veered off the righteous side.

enough of the company. it will fall apart till his departure. hope we throw a party to celebrate him leaving.

meanwhile, 14 extras are really a pain in the ass.

hah didn't realise that the tag board resets every month. so sorry people who tagged and i didn't see.

my csm is an asshole. he believes that by making everyone hate him he will get things achieved. which dumb cunt would experiment this sort of leadership especially when he lives by it. furthermore, this technique is obviously not working so why don't he try not being an asshole instead of altering his bastard attributes.

one thing i've noticed also, his sof friends don't seem to talk to him or socialize much with him. i think he doesn't have much friends in his social circle. what a loser. people you work with for 10 over years and they don't talk to you tsk tsk..

speaking of which he is going to give me some extras, ranging from 3 to 9. but it's not his fault, it was because i zhao some SAF day parade practice. some fuckers in the original contingent opped out after seeing that the parade is long and tedious then i have to fill up the strength, how screwed up. it doesn't pay to be tall some times, it didn't pay to be the best this time, it doesn't pay to be a nice guy all the time.

i think the darkness are fabulous, saw their live at astoria video. fantastic stuff. impromptu solos and riffs, packed with so much rock and so much rhythm. think rock and roll is about incoorporating minor pentatonic and major scales. not making much progress in scales as i have neglected it the last few days, only once in a while playing the learnt scales over and over, forward and backward.

give me a pack of nuts and i can keep awake the whole night. hah fat old me. my stomach fats started showing again after last week's bingeing at dbl o. do you know how demoralising that is? keep working out to shed it then the blubber shows up again. even mum's starting to comment on my spare tire. think i got a bad eating habit, i eat when i read, when i blog, when i got nothing better to do. damn learnt it from the army, now i know how hard it is to quit a bad habit. realised that most smokers start smoking when they are in the army, if not when they were in secondary school. so any anti-smoking organization or movements out there please target these bunch of people.

"It's not over till you're underground. It's not over before it's too late. This city's burning "It's not my burden". It's not over before it's too late, there is nothing left to analyze." -- Letterbomb, Green Day

was listening to the song and contemplated the significance of these few lines towards me. too tired, blog another day.