hmmm i was never good at punctuating myself, i would remember my compositions and essays decorated with red commas, semi-colon etc. was given a lesson on punctuation on monday, i'm stll savouring it so it's really alright today, just wanted to spring a surprise.

yay! i got the job at HSA, though it's not very good, yeah ben pointed it out also but at least i can go along with it for now.

my driving instructor changed his car from a mazda 323 to a lancer. the pedals were so soft and i only stalled once because i was looking away and not paying attention. tsk tsk i'm such a road hazard. must have been pretty tired, fell asleep on a bus with my mouth open. reinstating my title of king of unglam.

ORD already but some fat biatch just refuses to give us our IC and give us out certifficate, how to look for proper job like that. ask princess wang to slap her he also don't want, can you imagine now how biatch she is? whatever makes her happy, she is stuck(pun intended) in hellhole hendon anyway.

read the little prince and finally finished it today, maybe the only book i'm glad i finished reading only now. because i think it puts you to shame of who you've grown to be. back then if i had read it i would have just zipped through it.

hope i can really learn some good stuff from glenn tommorow, ooh so excited to start playing again.

The Bottom Line
New ideas and new avenues will take you toward a very enriching experience today.

In Detail
After doing your best to hold a grudge -- something you've never been any good at -- the peaceful mood the heavens are in will talk you out of it, even if a friend did something that feels like absolute treason to you. You'll wake up feeling compassionate, and ready, finally, perhaps, to accept the apology. Still, while forgiving is a good idea, don't feel bad if you're not quite able to forget. It's called wisdom, and it comes with experience. Sorry if this wasn't a pleasant one, but learn from it.

hmm very accurate today! not that i check out friendster's horoscope everyday. maybe it's my birthday today that's why.

heard from my favourite friend that a certain bushy eyebrow second sergeant who has been recently promoted refused to give his rank to a second sergeant who served more than him during the ORD parade. ooooooooh. ok if you were to look at it objectively of cos that bushy has every right to put that rank on. but think of all the "shit" that other fella went through. obviously second sergeants are full of "shit" because they are placed in a world of "shit" by commanders. obviously bushy only wants the rank for glamour as in taking photos during the parade. still remembered the other time someone jokingly recommended him to be one and he took it so seriously and kept saying no(but we all know he don't mean what he says). now like that. pui.

anyway i don't really pity the other fella cos i have no sympathies for those second sergeants, they are just in a world of their own. whether or not they been through a lot of "shit" i don't know and i don't care. from tommorow onwards i deserve as much as any dumb ass you see on the streets(except when we are back for reservist), so you had better be ready.

i guess i'm just bad with words. honesty is all i can offer, if it was brutal or blunt i really don't know because i can't spin pretty webs of lies.

josh thought i died in a bus accident. i was late and didn't realise the time passing so fast and i had expected the bus to be faster.

i'm so unglamourous, but i heard someone puked and sat on her own vomit yesterday. traded half a bottle of disgusting absolut mandrin(i still remember arthur recommending it to me) for a cup of green tea absolut peach. went in and got hot and sticky, beer and a shot of sambuca! think the beer was bad for me, next time i shall just go hard liquor all the way. anyway ben and cy were debating how to take the shooters. in the end both ways were possible and a bunch of ladies beside us told us to go for it, she even lit the sambuca for us and burnt ben's lips. losner. the coffee beans were a nice touch cos it sort of got half roasted in my mouth.

pretty much spent the rest of the time outside zouk. puked twice before going to look for the guys again, waited for josh to sober up and drive us. puked the third time while he was driving. i must have been pretty bad, the taxi uncle told me to rest and sleep first and will wake me up when we get there. josh even asked me to sms him when i get back, gee man i really hate clubbing now. even now i don't have the appetite for breakfast when it's lunch time now.

last changi run. nothing memorable. me and fellow fatty were doing double play takedowns on andy. went to emart and spent till i only had 12 cents. everything removed from the cupboard and below the bed, and the smell of new paint makes everything oh-so-nolstalgic.

went for a job inteview for telemarketing with mr lam(he shall be known as jensen from now on haha). got turned off at the interview though, apparently there are no prospects and the pay is just average and we are sitting in for some fella who is on leave that's all. straight after i went to recruit express at battery road and filled up some forms with ben. i'm pinning more than half my hopes on this recruit express to get me to HSA.

on the train ride home this school boy who sleeps while setting his head in pendulum motion decides to sit beside me of all places. worse part was this bunch of boys coming around and making all the ruckus just so i could "eavesdrop" on their conversation every time my mind starts to slip into unconsciousness.

when i got home i realised i looked so much like a teacher and decided to go school hopping around my neighbourhood asking for relief teacher slots. i sweated like a pig by the time i got to the 4th school. what i gathered was that primary schools tend to have slots for relief teaching but no promises though. usually they take out a log book and i see the other names before me, feeling demoralised. i even brought my certs and documents to convince them what a good teacher i would make. all they did was take down names and details sigh.

anyway nowadays all the school security guards damn good life. this school had an automated gate and all the lazy arse had to do was press button like TV remote. but they were surprisingly friendly though it's hard to sense it through the mask we put on everyday.

i guess i'm just not a happening person. i'm going to let my 21st birthday pass by with just a simple dinner, and i'm contend with that.

last driving session was bad, kena scolded until head smelly by my instructor though i did not stall the car at all. trying to refine my foot placement and i realised driving is so much easier haha. the only thing i remembered was queuing for bus home and somebody in front farted and it was damn smelly phoar.

tried for another job. remembered we had this talk by this lady who had 200++ interviews before she got her first job. hope i don't need so many tries. i also applied for a license to be a relief teacher, which reminded me i nearly wanted to be a teacher.

went down to downtown east with cy and wong for lunch. had to lug around my army clothes in a translucent trash bag, how bloody paiseh. spent like near to 40 minutes for the chicken rice, turned out to be not so good. saw our ex-trainer james thia hoho, he still recognises me! on the way back i didn't expect so many school kids to be around and i dunno where to put my face, i looked like a trailer hopping hobo.

hope i can get my pink ic tommorow instead of monday then i can save a bus trip down.

went down to balaclava for a job interview with mr teh and jar. i'm beginning to think that all HRs are paid to make people feel good and have hope about the job. but anyway my phone will be by my side for all of today because i heard that results should be out by tonight. was so bored after that so mr teh and i went to catch v for vendetta, had like an hour and 40 bucks worth of HMV vouchers to waste. poor mr teh was going to watch the same movie again because somebody asked him out. we ended up late and empty handed for the movie.

movie was great and i think v is cool. i had similar sentiments as he had, i believe in power of the people and they should not live under even the slightest bit of tyranny. though the show should have portrayed more aspects of bleakness under oppression, maybe it's hard to draw what you never seen and write about an experience you never had. so does that mean that lee ang is/was gay/bisexual?

sometimes the balance of life is just so much like clockwork mechanism, so timely and objective. it perturbs me when i'm having so much fun and enjoying myself. so when and what would the fall be like. they say pain anticipation can be worse than the pain itself, maybe some like to die being blasted to pieces on the battlefield rather than be bled dry.

i already had my affirmation a long time ago. i would like to think that my mum is a strong person and i am likewise. it takes more than that to bring me down, anyway we are nearly through.

nar·co·sis (när-kss)
n. pl. nar·co·ses (-sz)

General and nonspecific reversible depression of neuronal excitability, produced by a physical or chemical agent, usually resulting in stupor rather than in anesthesia.

here's one back at you favourite friend. how have you been doing? silly question. alright i think you should stay happy and not think too much, because you tend to most of the time. sometimes when you take a step back you realise that most decisions we make are not life-death or anything important so take it easy on your eyebrows. unless if you want to be like bushy yang. i like reversible situations, because i can try things out.

speaking of which if you were to have bushy eyebrows what would you do? shave them off and get a tattoo? try to make it less dense by plucking a few hair everyday and hope nobody notices?

my recent display photo on msn has got many asking. so to set the record straight i did a google image search with my name and that was it. so my favourite friend recommended me to have a go @myheritage.com got my photo taken and ran a recognition test. piang i looked like that wussy bae yong jun. other results were jerry seinfeld(?), leon lai(a very unhandsome photo of him), eddie murphy(?!?!?!), ahinoam nini(who the heck is this person), jaco pastorius(another unknown), jessica alba(finally some justice), chulalongkong (hohoho), duke ellington(cool) and chiang kai-shek.

p.s. if you watched white chicks then you will know what BF is.

myheritage.com so insulting to compare me with bae yong jun. i'm going to have a BF!!! lucky only 68% 

i swear if i could i would go wireless. it increases your stage antics repertoire and energy level. watched story of the year's live performance and was like wow. same goes for the non-singing guitarist of fall out boy. after that i will get myself a buckle strap because it is more stable and gives me less problems when i case my guitar.

sometimes i think i am such a vain pot. when i like a certain object and someone else buys it, i lose total interest in it. just like how i always wanted to get a telecaster, now that ben has one i don't desire it anymore, maybe i'll get another model that is much better haha. which reminded me that i saw KISS on the bus friday night and i suddenly thought about the ace frehley's triple DiMarzio humbuckler grunge machine. the epiphone version costs 1.3k at swee lee, think the gibson one should be like 5k plus.

often i see patrick stump playing a silver gibson SG. i wouldn't mind buying one though if i have enough to spare. because bao used to have it i kinda never got interested in it. but i realised that the SG is very light and provides very good maneuverability, not to mention it gives a good sound. also because bao sold his SG. lala.

bao is always buying the tech gadgets and fun stuff, maybe i'll see what he buys and see what i like, follow suit and swallow my pride for my own good. think i might want to get a multi-fx then i wouldn't need to buy an additional metronome, hurhur what a convenient excuse.

haven't been wanting to work my brain the past few days, most probably due to physical sickness. probably just waiting for april and my life to explode. nowadays talk and action are cheap, everybody's wallet is getting fatter, not that there is a direct correlation beteween the former and the latter. it so hard to be sincere or to make believe, i miss manipulating people.

here's a photo of morello using a tele. damn i love his sound. 

here's a picture of stump. but he's using a red SG. 

les paul special. my guitar. 

ace frehley's les paul. 

woke up feeling really great, guess it was the sea breeze yesterday night. all thanks due to a classy lady who also made my day today. i think women with class and intellect are incredibly sexy.

on the bus in the late afternoon, i happened to swing by this neighbourhood park by the name of brontosaurus park. think it's pretty senselessly funny and innovative, what if i were to name my child bronto or something like that. which reminded me of an ac lecturer called elsie bong and her son jovi.

i love long rides by myself and just listening to punk. anyway i remembered tom morello used to comment on how he would control feedback "noise". he would sit near the amp with a certain setting on one of his set of knobs and he would use the pickup switch as a "kill" switch for the feedback. think i might try that out next time in the studio.

feedback's got me thinking, how often do sounds beyond our audible range are produced. i would think not so often because cats and dogs are pretty sensitive to high frequency noise and pick it up very fast. used to have a rabbit and it's ears were like radar, wherever the sound was from the ear would face that direction. is evolution an ongoing process? would cats, dogs and rabbit have diminished audio frequency input because they don't used it much anymore? maybe they might have used it to hunt for or prevent themselves from becoming food before but now they just lay around waiting to be fed or caged. maybe a thousand years later they should update the audible range of all creatures and compare it with the last one.

went back to camp on monday and caught the flu from mao, totally had my nose dripping on tuesday. went to lj's birthday celebration on wednesday while barely hanging with chloramine. woke up today and had a fever, felt kinda shitty especially when i had a driving lesson in the afternoon.

so i went to the polyclininc so that i can stock up on some free medicine before i ORD. at 10am i had to wait for 40 over numbers to register, maybe it was the school holidays. wait till like 11.30 then i finally got my consultation, the GP also like too busy for anybody, ask her anything she just give medicine. told her my jaw out of place also just tell me to not open my mouth too big. piang, the GP had chapped lips. i mean like you would expect people like them to take care of themselves. she even prescribed me antibiotics for sore throat when i didn't really have sore throat, worse thing was she said that my fever would last 3 days. didn't really trust her so i just take my prescription and zhao.

thought i should hit the sacks and wait for lunch and maybe pop a few panadols before driving. miraculously when i woke up the 38°C fever subsided! glad i didn't cancel the driving session.

driving was pretty morale boosting. i stalled like 3 times haha. once because of e-brake, the other two was while doing clutch control on slightly sloped area. i used to be very scared when there are a lot of cars and i have to filter lanes, now i realised it could be so fun. my driving instructor has a grudge against taxi drivers hurhur black marking every one that breaks a traffic rule.

i think everybody must be taking crazy pills, there are so many things happening but nobody's blowing the whistle.

i play to win. i beg to differ sometimes. some people are just perfectionists, they have to win all the time. i mean who wouldn't want to win, we are built this way, but victory has it's downfalls and a curve of diminishing returns.

sometimes somethings can be described as clutching falling sand(refer to a letter to elise lyrics). when you try too hard it doesn't work, not like sand will fly to your hands if you just sit on your fat arse either. you also look stupid clutching falling sand.

i believe making mistakes is growth. it is not palpable though but i'm sure at least some fairy tale story has taught you the importance of picking yourself up and learning from your mistakes. anyway i'm not talking about massive defeat of the body and soul type of mistakes. life is a evergoing learning process and i personally learned a lot and faster through mistakes.

winning all the time is just like decking all your trump cards for everyone to see. it is always good to hold back and develop strategies with whatever good you possess.

know your opponents and thyself then you will win all hundred of the battles. it is a chinese saying. if you have never lost before how would you know? how would you know what it feels like? how would you know how to deal with that feeling? how would you know what tactics to employ? knowing your opponents would also mean knowing what losing is like.

in conclusion, we should aim for instead the ultimate victory. the critical victory, the decisive one at the end of the everything. for me making mistakes is just an alternate route towards it albeit being tedious. nobody is perfect, do you want to be a nobody? embrace mistakes as you would any life experiences.

A Letter To Elise - Blink 182 @ The Cure's MTV Icon

Oh Elise it doesn't matter what you say
I just can't stay here every yesterday
Like keep on acting out the same
The way we act out
Every way to smile
Forget
And make-believe we never needed
Any more than this
Any more than this

Oh Elise it doesn't matter what you do
I know I'll never really get inside of you
To make your eyes catch fire
The way they should
The way the blue could pull me in
If they only would
If they only would
At least I'd lose this sense of sensing something else
That hides away
But you and me,we're worlds apart
With aching looks and breaking hearts
And all the plans your hands can make

Oh I just take as much as you can throw
And then I throw it all away
Oh I throw it all away
Like throwing faces at the sky
Like throwing arms round
Yesterday
I stood and stared
Wide-eyed in front of you
And the face I saw looked back
The way I wanted to
But I just can't hide my tears away
The way you do

Elise... believe I never wanted this
I thought this time I'd keep all of my promises
I thought you were the girl always dreamed about
But I let the dream go
And the promises broke
And the make-believe ran out...

Oh elise
It doesn't matter what you say
I just can't stay here every yesterday
Like keep on acting out the same
The way we act out
Every way to smile
Forget
And make-believe we never needed
Any more than this
Any more than this

And every time I try to pick it up
Like falling sand
As fast as I pick it up
It runs away through my clutching hands
But there's nothing else I can really do
There's nothing else I can really do
There's nothing else
I can really do
At all... 

stumbled upon this song while watching the other blink 182 videos. i remembered bao saying it is damn nice and thinking he is seriously turning gay. so now i think i am turning gay.

given the amount of sleep i had i think it was quite a good session. though when the sun came out bl and i were totally smashed. joe's already got his ic, dyed his hair and growing stubbles. shorty ORDs in august and clears leave while entering uni in july, pretty sad but he hasn't got much to do in army either. arriving at the court i witness a bunch of chinese men playing around, after a few seconds of observation into play i gathered that playing with these old fogeys was like stealing candy from a baby. didn't know joe and shorty were into such cheap thrills and i was expecting the quality of play would match up to how elaborate the court was. lo and behold an indian team makes a debut appearance, joe got a little excited and started analysing their line-up, didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, the obese ones were probably the lousier ones.

it was like shorty said, once we went in we won't be coming out in a long time. think our team overwhelmed all of them. maybe i should have slept earlier and dazzle the court and leave some legs tied but i was quite surprised that i didn't make much mistakes like i anticipated. but was quite disappointed at the end i didn't score a single goal.

bl swears he was going to black out and i had to be his driving instructor, it was frightening especially when he nearly blacked out halfway through ecp. we had a couple of horns and stares from other drivers but in retrospect it was cool to drive without giving a damn about other drivers.

when i reached home i found out that sis was going out with tim for some golf nonsense, and she was wearing all black. so i told her if she had any idea how hot it was, i swear i smelled road tar cooking on the expressway with bl. i was kinda intrigued as to how this tim guy looked like, so mum and i staked half our heads out to look, i couldn't catch how he looked like but he had thick arms. anyway before i left for the game, sis gave me a pep talk on girls and modules in uni and i only absorbed 10% of what she said.

still pretty tired after the "z" monster dragged me along with him for two hours plus, think i should sleep more cos the guys would definitely be watching arsenal vs liverpool at changi v.

booking in still sucks till this day. but i think i'm going to camp tommorow morning instead. watching music videos makes me angsty again, even though i will never become a rock star i will keep playing and still enjoy it. so i was thinking are pianos classified as a string instrument? if not why not? essentially how it produces sound is similar to those of other string instruments. i'm too tired must grab more shut eye.

ok there's nothing worse than trying too hard to prove yourself. so i'm ok. i had some problems, whatever i told all of you were bullshit, it's not girl problem, it's not family problem and it's not about booking in either. it just came out of nowhere, like poof. it disappeared out of nowhere in a while. so i was spending the rest of the day thinking what it was.

i am quite sure that it is fatigue. because these days i can't sleep well in bed. so that should practically be the end of the case. so i sit down and watch chelsea vs tottenham. tottenham loses last minute to chelsea, which to me was very interesting, because i have been talking to ben about match fixing. then there's also freakonomics which talks a lot about social scince which i am so into right now.

so i went to msn and typed a personal message that goes like this: some things are just not meant to be, because the truth is deeper than you will ever know. and i never thought it would draw such a response! i mean the other time i lost my phone, i typed a personal message too and that was pretty much it, i even had to message people and tell them i lost my phone. anyway, what the personal message meant was, some teams are not meant to win because of match fixing and to know the truth you will need to be a soccer player or a manager which we all will probably never be.

that was all it meant. then it all turned into a wonderful uncharted prank like that boy who called wolf. wow wee i had quite a bit of fun playing nuts and screws with everyone. sincere apologies but i just so happen to be interested in social science now and decided to play along a bit.

thank you for your time and now i feel assured having so many people around me watching my ass.

just went out with ben and reaffirmed my beliefs. hitting the crowds on a weekend is a terrible idea, we were supposed to go to the IT fair at suntec but we gave up even before reaching there.

another "enriching" chat session with ben telling me the crooks of business and how to shortchange people. sometimes i wonder how do such people earn money, i'm starting to believe they cheat more than they earn. i just felt so lazy today that i didn't speak much, probably because i was quite pissed. it's strange that these days i'm getting overwhelming feelings and emotions out of nowhere. am i turning into a woman?

was on the bus talking with ben. then i said out loud,"recently there has been a malay invasion on the clubs seriously". so this fella in front of me slightly turns his head as if he was waiting for me to repeat what i just said because he couldn't hear it properly. then ben gave the shut-up-dick-lips look, and so i realised this mid-age malay man barely one metre away from me. but even then have i offended the muslims in any way? hey look i know we have to respect the ethnic minority and all, but don't push it. so i continued to say, " i even saw pregnant women too!". then the man left the seat to sit two rows down.

First things first, did i say the pregnant women were malays? secondly even if they were malay did i say anything bad about them? thirdly why did you act as though i just spat at you? fourthly that hostility meant that you associated the pregnant women with the vices of clubbing and ASSUMED that we love to bad-mouth people of other races, which means you are taking the young-fucktards-don't-respect-my-religion thing too far.

or are you just racist against chinese? i got my fair share of good muslim friends and they live perfectly normal with their heads held up high for who they are.

i think i am having pms.

ok i'm going to change the video cos something screwed up and the old video is not available anymore. so i chose this video because it was cool, and these people were and will still be my heroes, listening to them sure brings back memories.

didn't feel like playing soccer with people i'm only acquainted to so i subjected myself to physical and mental torture. it was also because nobody's home so i felt like blasting music real loud and enjoy myself for a while. staring at my acjc soccer shirt i started to think what a bad influence i was. sure enough acjc days were full of ass kicking, but the downside was this friend of mine was never the same anymore. although i always liked to believe i brought out the side of him most never seen. then there were people who messed up too much and screwed studies up, people who tried things with me and got lost.

it was like a jackass show going on for me but i didn't realise my crew was diminishing.

anyway like i said, first impression is a million bucks, i will try anything within my power to get him back but it doesn't work. somethings will always go out of control, so you do learn while being young and reckless.

the army is just so full of shit people. i think when shit people get together they tend to influence more and more to join them, and eventually it becomes a giant shit well, like a black hole sucking everything in and turning whatever sucked in to be part of the black hole. when i go uni i better not see much of this shit people or at least hide them away from me. not much bitching about the army though cos the backstabbing this time produced a benefit(surprise!) for me. having a benefit would also mean somebody at a loss but i couldn't be bothered more because this sucker deserved it more than anybody else. this isn't good waking up to a morning full of hate.

RATM rocks. Tom Morello is so damn good. he is like the doctor who has seen everything, he knows what to apply when and how and delivers it perfectly.

another thing i realised? breakfast provides you with the essential energy for the rest of the day, or at least until lunch.

read another chapter of freakonomics. they were tackling the problem of conventional wisdom which totally spoke my mind. the case study they endorsed were drug dealers. obviously drug dealers are much like rodents to the american society, the author is american and base most of his findings locally. all through the book the author has already established the fact that america was and probably is crime filled. he went on to say that what got the public together to fight drug dealing was conventional wisdom.

conventional wisdom as defined by John Kenneth Galbriath : Associating truth with convenience with what most closely accords with self-interest and personal well-being or promises best to avoid awkward effort or unwelcome dislocations of life. we also find highly acceptable what contributes most to self-esteem. Economic and social behaviour are complex, and to comprehend their character is mentally tiring. therefore we adhere to those ideas which represent out understanding.

so awareness among the public was created and they were infuriated as how people could get away with such illicit acts. but unknown to the public, the average drug dealer, not the ones sitting at the top of the hierarchy, it's a sad story. this more or less paints a picture of the structure or business model of a drug dealing group. the author insists that it is no differernt than that of macs.

why sad story? crack has created such a void for black people. depressing to mention the general trend of black welfare before the outset of crack was nearing that of whites. crack brought such a depression that they were far worse than where they started off. so the average black kid grows up being messed up and thinks that drug dealing is the way around, he becomes one of the many foot-soldiers of the drug dealing army. other than being lowly-paid he puts his life on the line especially when gang wars are raging, he does all this to get a chance to work his way up. most of them don't get anywhere, except jail or six feet under.

but what interests me is why weren't the whites affected that badly? the author also mentioned that crack hit the whites too. is there some sort of genetical attribute difference? again that would be "conventional wisdom" kicking in.

anyway why was crack called crack? crack is actually processed cocaine. cocaine often provided a quick but short high. so many resorted to "freebasing". freebasing is deadly though. so a while later some cocaine glut came up with this. he mixed cocaine powder with baking soda and water, then cooks the liquid off to produce crystal cocaine. that was crack. it was named crack because of the cracking sound it makes when heated.

pretty enriching i shall read up more. social science is so interesting.

went out with some girl(no she's just a normal friend). then i kept thinking about the 7 deadly sins, couldn't really recall. looked it up on google and landed at wikipedia, so here it goes. superbia, avaritia, luxuria, invidia, gula, ira, acedia. in respective order: pride, greed, luxury(later lust), envy, gluttony, anger and sloth.

heard mambo had free entry for guys, think zouk is starting to lose out to mos. still haven't been to mos. turned out not a lot of people went for mambo.

why did i choose sugar we're going down? well because i think the video is pretty lame and i like it. hoho enjoy.

went driving and stalled like 5 times, all of them i could have avoided. whenever i stall the car my morale drops. but at the end of the lesson i felt pretty good. my life is starting to get back in order. i'm picking up the guitar again, sleeping at the right time, waking up early and eating right.

army teaches you to take afternoon naps or even morning naps for the matter. then there's the supper habit which can make you grow fat real fast.

downloaded transamerica but there isn't any sound, kind of a shame because the quality of the movie was good. no subtitles either, that's the problem with new movies.

i'm starting to have lesser and lesser things to blog about.

yeah so i lost my phone. i dropped it on a bus. careless me. worse of all i just had that phone repaired and barely used it for a day, like ben said the irony is killing me. so now i'm trying to get the numbers back. anybody out there who still reads my blog my msn is dun_pushit@hotmail.com. yeah hope this reaches out to at least somebody.

Hilarious. you bet it is. went through a list of contacts to find somebody's email, then i happened to stumble upon some of my saved emails. this was one of them.
>
>****People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to
>communicate with English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs
>
>seen around the world.
>
>
>
>----------
>
>
>
>Cocktail lounge, Norway:
>
>LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
>
>
>
>At a Budapest zoo:
>
>PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE
>
>IT TO THE
>
>GUARD ON DUTY.
>
>
>
>Doctor's Office, Rome :
>
>SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES
>
>
>
>Hotel, Acapulco :
>
>THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
>
>
>
>Information booklet on using a hotel air conditioner, Japan : COOLES
>
>AND
>
>HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE
>
>CONTROL YOURSELF.
>
>
>
>Car rental brochure, Tokyo :
>
>WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVES IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM
>
>MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLE YOUR PASSAGE THEN
>
>TOOTLE HIM
>
>WITH VIGOUR.
>
>
>
>In a Nairobi restaurant:
>
>CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER
>
>
>
>On the grounds of a private school:
>
>NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION
>
>
>
>On Athi River Highway:
>
>TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
>
>
>
>On a poster at Kencom:
>
>ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
>
>
>
>In a city restaurant:
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>OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
>
>
>
>On one of the Mathare buildings:
>
>MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE
>
>
>
>In a cemetery:
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>PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN
>
>GRAVES.
>
>
>
>Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
>
>GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS
>
>IN BED.
>
>
>
>On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
>
>OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
>
>
>
>In a Tokyo bar:
>
>SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
>
>
>
>Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
>
>PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
>
>
>
>Hotel brochure, Italy:
>
>THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS
>
> FROM ALL
>
>OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
>
>
>
>Hotel elevator, Paris:
>
>PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
>
>
>
>Hotel, Yugoslavia:
>
>THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE
>
>CHAMBERMAID.
>
>
>
>Hotel, Japan:
>
>YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
>
>
>
>Supermarket, Hong Kong:
>
>FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
>
>
>
>Hotel, Zurich:
>
>BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
>
>IN THE
>
>BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
>
>
>
>A laundry in Rome:
>
>LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD
>
>TIME.
>
>
>
>Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
>
>TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO
>
>MISCARRIAGES.
>
>
>
>Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
>
>WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
>
>
>
>The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
>
>GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
>
>
>
>Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
>
>WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
>