i guess the truth is that i depend on myself too much and i can't trust other people so easily.

i never wanted to get married, and i thought boys of my era were special and will never grow to be man. i thought the 1985 boys had more fun and knew what it meant to be a boy and a heart brimming with youth, i guess it's just me, and now i got some catching up to do.

i'm back to my same old self. i love relying on myself. even if i were sad, i would like to depend on myself then be happy with someone else. i'm not narcissistic either. i love my old self, maths paper today didn't seem so hard after all with my old self back in the control room. i just don't think i can trust anybody, fully.

i guess i don't forget my roots, i still love punk and it's energy. i just wished it wasn't so mainstream.